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Dean Allen, 40.0

By David Young 2 June 06

Today Dean Allen is forty.

I first met Dean in November, 2005 at the Mark Hopkins Hotel in San Francisco to run through the documents that would effect the merger of TextDrive and Joyent. What struck me about him was his smoking, the size of the steak he ate for lunch, and his affability. He hasn’t changed. I know him well.

He grew up in British Columbia, Canada, the son of John and Edwina Allen (nee FitzSimmons) . The family, there is also a brother, lived a quiet life of modest distinction. Dean’s father went back and forth to work and served as a role model for Dean’s later life in the south of France. His mother, like so many mother’s of the period, was a member of “Canadians for Goldwater” and instilled in the young Dean Allen a strong distaste for sardines. Unfortunately, Dean and his brother became estranged due to Dean’s knack for annoying people.

As declared valedictorian of his high school class, Dean’s future looked bright until called up by the Canadian Guards to serve in the conflict in the Falklands. It was there, among the giant seagulls, that Dean began to write a journal. I quote from a passage:

Today I woke up with a sticky mouth. This has been happening a lot. I stayed in bed until I smoked a cigarette. I think I need to buy new underwear. I’m going to try briefs. I heard a mate of mine call them briefs because they have a briefier [sic] amount of cloth. Sometimes while at my post I think about the future. I wonder if I am marriage material. I wonder if they will ever perfect a dried fruit additive for cereal.

His love of writing would lead him to a desire to “weblog” and the creation of TextPattern and Textile.

He has held many jobs, but never served any time in prison. This is a shame. Those of us who know Dean, believe he could be a force for good [blank] in the maximum security prisons of the Western civilized world.

Dean is a man of few lusts, though his appetite for life is large. He has requested, in honor of his birthday, that gifts be given to the Abbey of Regina Laudis to support their works of cheese making. We, his colleagues at Joyent, suggest a modest gift as well.

But in the end, let us raise a glass, to Mr Dean Allen, 40.0. Cheers!


  1. Happy Birthday, Dean!!!!11 :3

    — Neko    810 days ago    #

  2. Happy Birthday!

    — Sunny    810 days ago    #

  3. Dean! From Germany the best wishes for your birthday! You are doing a great job. Thank you a lot!

    — The Exit    810 days ago    #

  4. Happy birthday, Dean.

    — Jason Speck    810 days ago    #

  5. Speaking as someone who is obscenely in love with Mr. Allen, I would like to point out that, though his lusts may not number in the hundreds, they are indeed all the right ones.

    — gail    810 days ago    #

  6. Many happy returns of the day – I didn’t realise you were as old as me! Thanks for all your hard work.

    — Dominic Hawken    810 days ago    #

  7. Happy Birthday and Thanks, Dean.

    — ngungo    810 days ago    #

  8. From the west of France, happy birthday! (and hurrah for Textism revival)

    — Guillaume Gautier    810 days ago    #

  9. happy birthday and happy many returns of the day thanks for sharing ur work

    — shishira    810 days ago    #

  10. Happy Birthday Dean!

    — Raymond Brigleb    810 days ago    #

  11. Virtually all I know about XHTML, weblogs, CSS, web servers, hosting, etc., is in some way the result of Textpattern, TextDrive, Strongspace and/or Joyent. Those because of Textism. Textism because of Dean Allen.

    Thank you a thousand times over…and, Happy Birthday!!

    — steve    810 days ago    #

  12. The last time I saw that prick Dean Allen he was swilling red wine straight from the bottle at a Vancouver restaurant named Bukowski’s, as Martin Amis read from Experience and answered inane questions from Dean’s pal Turner. Amis has never returned to the city and Allen left soon after. And here in Salish territory we’re glad for both. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Peace, order and good governance have been restored.

    You’re lucky to get to 40, Allen. Well done, you prick.

    — James    810 days ago    #

  13. happy birthday, dean!

    — laze    810 days ago    #

  14. Happy Birthday, Dean. Hard to believe you are 40. As a former member of “Canadians for Goldwater”, I wish you well on this auspicious occasion.
    Signed,
    Edwina Allen (Fitzsimmons)

    — Holly (Dean's actual Mom)    810 days ago    #

  15. From Paris, cheers Dean!

    — Jérémie    810 days ago    #

  16. I remember Dean being little…actually little…but smart, fast and witty. The outrageous treats that he catered for the neighbourhood parties there in Richmond BC – ooh wah…he delivered his wit with stuffed mushrooms and made some moola. Hey Dean!
    may this next trimester be another great blooming of of your wisdom & humour. Keep writing and of course, keep visiting us in California. Remind us to spring out of the box. XOXO
    yer aunt and BOB

    — veronica (Edwina's sis) & Bob    810 days ago    #

  17. Hey, happy birthday step-bro. You’ve almost caught up to me (hehe)

    — Sharon    810 days ago    #

  18. Happy Birthday Dean! I happened to celebrate by own birthday (albeit 14 years your younger) 9 days ago (apparently 8 days before yours). I’ve been over here in the corner admiring your work on TextDrive, Textpattern, Textism, and the like. I use Textpattern on my own wedding website and other client sites that require a short time-span (it is so easy to set up, and is so easy to use, and I’ve been a fan since 2003). In my humble opinion, Textile > Markdown (again since ‘02 or so). Also, it seems that according to the URL of this page, you are 400! So good luck on your next 400 years and may I live to be that old and successful!

    — Dave Woodward    810 days ago    #

  19. Joyent, pardon, joyeux anniversaire Dean ;-)

    François (4.0)

    — padawan    810 days ago    #

  20. Happy Birthday Dean!

    — Justin French    809 days ago    #

  21. Congrats – enjoy!

    — Kevan Emmott    809 days ago    #

  22. Having spent 12 years in the Falklands myself, I happen to know that those Seagulls aren’t giants, the ones elsewhere are just midgets!

    Happy b’day from an ex limey/benny and now cheese-head!

    — Boogenstein    809 days ago    #

  23. Happy Birthday Dean,Welcome to the 5th decade. We love to hear about all your happenings. Love the picture.
    Auntie Laurene, Uncle Grant, cousins Leslie and April.

    — Laurene and Grant    807 days ago    #

  24. Happy Birthday Dean!
    I wish you success and creative power! May the Force be with you! :)

    — Sergey    807 days ago    #

  25. Dean – The happiest of birthdays to you! I think of you often, and take comfort in your happiness! gg

    — Gwendolynn    803 days ago    #

  26. Felicidades, Dean, y gracias por Textpattern. Hasta ahora eras un misterio, y por fin te he puesto cara. Un mito menos.

    — Jose    797 days ago    #

  27. Happy birthday! Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!

    — Manuel    751 days ago    #

  28. http://www.nobases.net/

    — live show    631 days ago    #

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